Learn to take a compliment, you twat

Hello, dearies. Geraldine Hairpiece here. As many of you know, when I was in the workforce the first time around, I ran my own finishing school, The Geraldine Hairpiece School for Young Ladies in Need of Some Serious Coaching. I was rather renowned on Meridian Island for my near infinite knowledge of etiquette, and I could probably have taught Miss Emily Post a thing or two. That is until I met my third husband. It was around that time that I started to pour my afternoon cocktails in a little bit more generous a fashion, but that's neither here nor there. My point is, with manners going out the window more and more these days, I'd like to offer up a little lesson for you this afternoon.

Earlier today I looked at a girl on the street, and having been taught that if you can't say something nice you shouldn't say anything at all, I decided I'd try to say something nice. Now this girl was dressed a bit like a street walker, with a wee portion of bottom hanging out of her ripped denim mini skirt, but if nothing else, she was keeping her backside looking fresher than the lines on her face suggested it was, so I said, "That's quite a tight bum you've got there, lassy." This slattern then proceeded to glare at me and spit on the street, which we all know is highly unladylike.

Her vulgar response has inspired me to return to my etiquette coaching. The goal of a compliment is to make someone feel good about themselves, even if you are just pulling their dick. When someone pays you a compliment, it is always best to show your appreciation by graciously accepting the compliment and tossing in your thanks. Never dispute the compliment. Simply accept it. Here's an example:

Gerladine Hairpiece: That's quite a tight bum you've got there, lassy.

Untidy Slovenly Street Walking Type Slattern Woman: Thank you very much, ma'am. You look incredibly young and sober this fine afternoon.

That wasn't so hard now, was it?

Mind your P's & Q's,
Geraldine Hairpiece