Snake in the Grass

Good Afternoon, Madame Enzo here with a report on your future.

With the failing economy, don't we all wish that we could just forget all of our problems, retire early, and move on down to Florida to live out our days in peace? Well I don't think that's exactly a reality-but not for the reasons you'd expect. And no, it's not because they aren't making handicap accessible condos anymore and your bank branch just closed.

Pythons, people. I'm talking about pythons. People are taking their fat ass, 200 pound pythons and dumping them in the Florida Everglades because they are no longer able to care for them. What they don't realize is that pythons are destroying the ecosystem and multiplying at a faster rate than anyone has expected. At this rate, we won't have any endangered species left and the entire retired community is at risk.

Don't dump your motherf***ing pythons in the motherf***ing Everglades. Or else you will suffer a terrible misfortune that will land you in the hospital with no windows. And your computer will crash. And you'll go through a bought of lactose intolerance. Think bad food, mean nurses, and getting tested.