Ruff Justice

Good afternoon, Nelson Ramsbottom here again, with some rather cutesy news from our American cousins. Now we all know how guilty a dog can look when it's done something naughty; for example when my red setter's finished the Sudoku puzzle in pen, he'll look at me with a face that can only say one thing. What that thing is I'm not sure, but, anyway.... Turns out this 'guilty look' we see in dogs faces is actually poppycock! Research at a New York college tricked dog owners into thinking their prized pooch had misbehaved, whereupon they immediately recognised a guilty look on the dog's face. The hounds most likely to look guilty were the ones who had been told off by their owners after discovering they had stolen biscuits. Alexander Horowitz, assistant professor at Barnard College, suggested that the 'guilty look' is in fact a doggy response to human behaviour, and not an awareness of having done anything wrong.

The question is, what the bloody hell is this college doing researching such a useless topic? Cure for cancer anyone? Solution to global warming? Well done Barnard College! Surely your research is one in the eye for terrorism?