Saturday, January 24, 2009

Welcome Meridian 13 News to the world!

Hello, dearies!

I am happy to inform you all of the existence of this very blog that you are now reading. I suppose if you're reading it then you were at least partially aware that it exists, but that's neither here nor there. The point is, this is an important blog that will hopefully assist you more in your day to day life than anything else in the entire universe has ever assisted absolutely anyone in absolutely any matter. I'm not such an extremist in general, but I believe in the power of Meridian 13 News.

I live on a tiny little island, (oh don't ask me where! It matters not!) and we here on the island are all quite proud of one Cynthia Meridian. I remember when she was just a baby in diapers and how hard her parents struggled to potty train her, but now she's all grown up and a Fulbright scholar! Cynthia studied at the prestigious Petty Jean Mountain University in the good old US of A, and she even earned her Bachelor's degree in journalism. We were all so proud of her for getting off the island and venturing into the big wide world, and we thought she would go so far with her degree. Sadly, we were completely wrong, because those Fulbright people are completely twisted and insisted that to keep her scholarship, Cynthia had to trudge back to her home country and work in her chosen field for at least two years. 

So the one girl who finally made it out is now stuck here yet again, but she has brought her knowledge with her. Cynthia Meridian has started her own News radio program here on the island, and she asked a few of us from around the island to help out! That's where I come in. I'm Geraldine Hairpiece, and I'll be an advice reporter, so please feel free to send your letters my way if you ever need help getting through difficult social matters. Jacques Cuistot is our resident French chef and matchmaker, and he can help you in matters of the heart and/or kitchen. If you'd like to get a more international view on an important occurrence, look no further than our very own Nelson Ramsbottom. And if you're trying to plan that perfect vacation or you just want to know what's going on in the world outside of our little island, listen in for wisdom from Traveling Jimmy. No one really knows what Jimmy's surname is.

That's all of us and together we make up Meridian 13 News! We hope you'll check back here often for more updates and for our monthly podcast, though I must say, I'm not quite sure what a podcast really is. Cynthia keeps talking about all of these fancy things, and honestly, before today I wasn't really sure what a blog was. Fancy that!

Your friend,
Geraldine