Britain's Got Brain Disease

Righto. Nelson here. I'm flabbergasted. Well, I mean, I was flabbergasted last week, but just when I thought the idiot brigade of the world had marched their April march, along come another YouTube sensation. Now I'm REALLY flabbergasted. Gabberflastered perhaps. I'm not sure. Well, anyway... Back to the story. I am of course referring to singing sensation Susan Boyle, whose press agent harnessed the power of the world wide interweb to maximum effect last week, and now it's only hermits in Yemen who don't know who she is. Now, I don't have anything against the woman, and I do hope she does well out of the media circus that is her world now. The people I'm pointing my knarly finger at are the idiots who think it's a heartwarming and lovely tale. It's not. Didn't you hear what the judges said? Susan was the contestant who surprised them most! What, because she isn't a supermodel, or perhaps hasn't received the best education, she can't sing? Because she was giddy in front of the camera (most likely at the producer's behest), it seemed unlikely she had talent? The judges and the programme are blatantly insulting the woman. Now, I'm all for insults too (after all I have to work with the lovely Geraldine), but I do wish the public would wake up and smell the bullshit. It's not heartwarming, it's well-produced tv, and anyone who sends e-mails to their friends saying how 'inspired' they are by the clip of Ms Boyle singing on ITV, is just subscribing to the circus. If Susan were better spoken, and had similar features to other well-known singing stars, there'd be nothing special about her. So go ahead and enjoy the freak show, and while you're at it go ahead and visit the bearded lady, the elephant man and the really fat fellow who can speak 7 different languages next door. What? Offended? So am I. By you people. I'm ashamed to be British. Jolly glad I moved to Meridian Island when the revenue came after me....