Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match

Good Evening, Cynthia Meridian here to report yet another side effect of the failing economy.

In these sad economic times, studies report that people are reaching out to one another more than they ever have before. In other words, everyone's looking for someone to love and for someone to return the affection.

Except wait a second. Hasn't everyone always been looking for someone to love them? Who wants to be lonely? No one! Doesn't everyone want someone to come home to at the end of the day to eat dinner with, talk about their boring days with, and then fall into bed and maybe have sex, or maybe not? Good thing this disastrous recession came along as an excuse to join a dating website or hire a matchmaker.

But I do suppose, if you get laid off and you want to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's, it would be a lot more fun to do that with your lover and not by yourself.

Or if you get a massive cut in your paycheck and you feel like getting totally hammered, it would be a lot more fun to do that with your significant other at a bar so you can make out in front of everyone else...because, hey, you may have to take a second job, but at least you have someone to suck your face off.

This is Cynthia Meridian: your first stop for economic woes.

And no, I'm not bitter because I'm blogging alone while eating Cooler Ranch Doritos and spooning icing out of the can.

What?