Good things come in Twos

Hello dearies,

Just read about this man in Atlanta who got up from his fat ass to see what some noise in his backyard was. He got outside and found that strong winds had blown over a tree. While he's outside, get this, the winds blow over another tree that comes crashing down on his house landing directly on the couch that he was plopped upon thirty seconds prior.  Now this man is swearing that there are no coincidences, and that God himself called him out into his yard with the crashing down of the first tree. But I'll have you know that this morning I was trying for the second time to drown my neighbor's cat, and for the second time, she caught me out in the back yard with the cat dunked in a tub of water, AND for the second time, the stupid woman believed me when I told her I was washing the little dear. The funny thing is, the only two times I've ever seen this horrid woman outside or her house have been when I'm doing my best to make sure her pussy never craps in my carport again. How's that for coincidence?

Wishing you all luck,

Geraldine Hairpiece