Hormone Balance?

Good Evening Meridianites!

Cynthia here, with a report that is probably more suited to Ricky "The Cougar" Crenshaw, but I'll go ahead and say that my barn is burnin' as well, over the absolute ridiculousness that is Manny Ramirez.

If it's not one thing with this guy, it's another.

First, someone really needs to take him back into the locker room and get him re-fitted for his uniform. It's poor taste and quite unattractive if you ask to me to be running around the diamond in what looks like pajamas.

Second, his mood swings and literally "dropping the ball" on some games, by just feeling like he doesn't want to play, is no way to lead a major baseball team. Especially when his fan base is as large as it is. Not to mention playing poorly for the Red Sox in the hopes of being traded. Good on you there, Manny.

Third, his hair. No further comment.

And for my fourth and final comment, his most recent suspension from baseball for 50 games for using the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which is typically taken by women to increase fertility. When taken by a man, it can increase testosterone, but more importantly, it is known to help men get back on track after anabolic steriod use (returns the testes to normal size and reestablishes normal hormonal balance).

What a shame then, to realize that Manny Ramirez was probably using steriods. Because he was a talented ballplayer, frequently hitting fly balls into his Mannywood section at the Dodgers Statdium. But now, whatever talent he does have, is mostly likely, discredited.

Alas.

This is Cynthia Meridian wishing you all a pleasant evening.