Booyah!

Hey gang. Just recovered from my Michael Jackson Memorial bender, and I'm finally back to a state where I can retain what I watch on the news. All this MJ will business is totally bad ass. While I was a little disappointed that I wasn't named as an heir to any of the King of Pop's estate (estimated to be worth $500 million), but I gotta acknowledge that Michael had some huge cajones. I've never been foolish enough to allow some girl to get a ring around my finger, probably because I don't use my real name in my sexcapades, but poor Michael has been hitched. And we all know that marriage is just a shortened word for scream fight messy divorce in which some ho fleeces you. But Mr. Jackson got to slap former wife Debbie Rowe in the face from beyond the grave by purposely leaving her out of his will as a potential guardian of his three kids (2 by her). Who's the new baby mama instead? Jackson's mom, and in the event that his momma died before him, MJ's will then names fucking Diana Ross as the guardian. How sweet is that?

Stay sober,

Jimmy