It's all in my book

Well hi there Miss Geraldine,

Doncha know, my life was goin' just super-duper until these silly old anonymous "McCain officials" came forward and said I was pullin' a Pinocchio in my new book ("Going Rogue" and hittin' shelves in bookstores nationwide this comin' Tuesday! You betcha!). All I said was that I was billed $50,000 for, you know, various, um, things by the McCain campaign before they named me as the Vice President! I'm sorry... Vice presidential nominee. Now some no name little noodle noggin punk is trying to mess up everything by declaring that what I claim is "one hundred percent untrue." Well, here's a newsflash for you, Joe Jackass, it's true that SOMEBODY billed me $50,000 and that's a big hunka change, doncha know!? Right. Anyway, I hear you give advice, so I figured I'd write you a letter. Whaddaya think I should do about this no name official, huh? I got a loaded shotgun on the back of my ATV.

Smiles and Polar Bears,
Sarah Palin

Dear Mrs. Palin,

Loaded shotgun, eh? I get the impression that you're really a woman of substance who wants nothing more than to improve this world we're in for future generations. The answer seems all too obvious to me...

cheers,
Geraldine Hairpiece